Heart on My Sleeve

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How Monica Will Get Her Groove Back a.k.a. The Open Letter Where I Address The Elephant In The Room...

An open letter to....

It's a New Year that's about to come upon us, so I should let go of all the funk that has defined this year and make a fresh start (right?). I'm not sure when or where there is a line that is crossed in writing down details of your life for all to read and whether I'm about to cross that invisible line with this post.

I've been agonizing over this idea for months now and asking myself if this is the "Christian" thing to do? I have not come up with an easy answer. I mean, Christ showed mercy to all, loved and forgave all, but He also showed righteous anger when it was absolutely called for. I want to believe that this is my form of righteous anger being poured out of me and that I would be forgiven for the things I say.

To tell the truth though, I don't know if I am right, I wrestle with my faith more and more these days and I suppose this year has a lot to do with that. If I feel a sense of regret after posting this, it will be between me and my God to sort through.

I feel at this moment, more so than in the past, that one person can only be pushed so far and to have something so hurtful thrown in my face time and again is too much to bear-I believe people who make conscious choices that affect the lives of others in a irreparable way have to live with the consequences of those choices and take resposibility for the waves they create. These are the waves that were created, and right now, to tell my side feels right so here I go.

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- 1 January 2011
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An Important Reflection on the Meaning of Words....

Tonight, as I reflect on my life and those of my friends, I have a choice whether to share my thoughts with everyone thus being completely candid and open, or to just keep the thoughts to myself wondering if it would have made a difference in someone's relationship right now.

I choose to be completely candid, and maybe to some it will be uncomfortable to read or may leave some heads shaking at the fact that I could write such a thing but you know what? It doesn't matter what anyone thinks at this point as far as this subject is concerned because I feel that it is of vital importance, especially right now, at this moment in time-not just around me, but throughout the world. I am not directing this note to anyone in particular, these are just my thoughts, my opinions, and it is not my intent or meaning to offend or judge anyone with what I have to say.

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- 8 September 2010
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Words to Live By...

So, I was a part of an awesome group of people that had the opportunity to go on an amazing, life-changing, spiritual retreat months ago, and I found a piece of paper that we all left with that has what they called "truth statements" on it, and the one I clinged onto was "I have given up hope of having a better past" but I wanted to share the other statements because all of them are so true and maybe one of these statements will be something that you can relate to and will lead you to be able to understand more about yourself.

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- 8 September 2010
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Thoughts on Sabbath

It is Sabbath & my mind is not focused on God-please help me to just let go & give it all to You-why do I keep trying to carry this when I know it will crush me without Your strength? I'm playing hot potato with Jesus saying- here, it is too much for me to handle-I am being burned, then taking it back from Him cause I think that now, this time I can hold it and be okay-that I don't need Him to hold it for me.

Why do we always try to have control when things will happen that we have no control over? We think we can make things better and we can't-if we could, wouldn't life be perfect? Ah, if I could only learn to rest in Him everyday instead of allowing darkness to take over my thoughts and actions-anyone with me?

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- 8 September 2010
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Learning Lessons About Life Everyday

This has brought me peace whenever I read it...This is taken from "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers-It takes me a few times to read through his words to fully grasp what he is saying-but once I understand, I can find peace in his words.

..."Wherever God sends us, He will guard our lives. Our personal property and possessions are a matter of indifference, we have to sit loosely to all those things; if we do not, there will be panic and heartbreak and distress. That is the inwardness of the overshadowing of personal deliverance.

The Sermon on the Mount indicates that when we are on Jesus Christ's errands, there is no time to stand up for ourselves. Jesus says, in effect, Do not be bothered with whether you are being justly dealt with or not. To look for justice is a sign of defelction from devotion to Him. Never look for justice in this world, but never cease to give it. If we look for justice, we will begin to grouse and to indulge in the discontent of self-pity--Why should I be treated like this?

If we are devoted to Jesus Christ we have nothing to do with what we meet, whether it is just or unjust. Jesus says--Go steadily on with what I have told you to do and I will guard your life. If you try to guard it yourself, you remove yourself from My deliverance. The most devout among us become atheistic in this connection; we do not believe God, we enthrone common sense and tack the name of God on to it. We do lean to our own understanding, instead of trusting God with all our hearts."
- 8 September 2010
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Words of Wisdom, by Regina Brett

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

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- 8 September 2010
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Monica Edwards's Space

I am a mother of two boys, 16 and 6 yrs old, trying to be the best mom I can be while making many mistakes along the way; learning that as long as I love them with all my heart I am doing okay. My mantra has become to live life one day at a time, as I am about to step into a new phase that I never saw coming. I am filled with mixed emotions ranging from a deep sense of loss to excitement for what God has in store for me.
With my strong faith in God, and the love of my friends and family, I will get through this phase and come out standing with hope for the future.
I started a blog a few years ago but have been sporadic in keeping it updated. I am moving the past posts from its current domain to this one, and plan to make a new start.
I started my blog as a cathartic outlet for a tragedy in my life, and still find that it gives me peace to share my thoughts and experiences, even if no one reads them. I hope that at the least, my words will make some think, or provide a laugh or two.
I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read what I post, it is truly an honor since I am not a professional blogger in the least.
I welcome all of your comments as long as they are not in a crude manner. I will delete comments that are rude, tasteless or full of profanity. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy what I have to share.

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Heart on My Sleeve

How Monica Will Get Her Groove Back a.k.a. The Open Letter Where I Address The Elephant In The Room...

An Important Reflection on the Meaning of Words....

Words to Live By...

Thoughts on Sabbath

Learning Lessons About Life Everyday

This has brought me peace whenever I read it...This is taken from "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers-It takes me a few times to read through his words to fully grasp what he is saying-but once I understand, I can find peace in his words.

Words of Wisdom, by Regina Brett

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer

Monica Edwards's Space

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